It’s puppy play week for #52weeksofkink. Everyone meet puppy carne. It’s big pup’s “puppy” identity. We are…exploring. That’s the goal of this project.
Highly recommended un-mute. Puppy hood from Mr S Leather.
Unmute this… it’s so adorable.
SUCH A DAINTY BARK! AHHHH!!!!
I need to pick that project up again…it got derailed by my wedding :(
There have been a LOT of asks about my personal experience with:
When you cuddle up with your dog and they’re breathing that dog breath in yo face but you don’t mind cuz you love them very much☺️
Tony breath smells great Arman
Psychology Today, Are we really the average of our peers?
I used to be friends with this guy. He was an adorable Iowa farm boy that had moved to the big city of San Francisco and was discovering himself.
As I got to know him, the way he interacted with people and handled conflict started to make me uncomfortable.
It didn’t bother me so much. Everyone is at a different point in their journey, personal growth takes time, etc, etc… And then, one day, I got frustrated with someone walking slowly in front of me, out-paced them, then stopped, blocking their path. While incredibly satisfying, it was an incredibly rude behaviour I had inadvertently picked up from this friend.
I did not want to become that person. As I confronted these behaviours, worse things came up. I had to remove myself from that relationship…and I’m grateful I did.
TL;DR
We’re in control of who we want to become. Surround yourself with people you admire and good things happen.
I’m really tired of seeing people broken up into labels of absolutes.
People are not just “good” or “bad”.
People are not a list of labels.
People are complex, situations are complex.
I know, that makes it a lot harder when you want to just write off everything someone’s ever done as bad – but that’s not how people actually are, and it would do everyone good to stop pretending they are.
I am tired of hearing about the fear people have in putting themselves out there. And it is a scary thing! Putting yourself out there means subjecting yourself to people who want a really good reason to tear you down, who will jump at the first chance to feel “good” by labeling someone else as “bad”.
I reject this. I reject the idea that there should be fear in speaking up and talking about experiences and trying to reach an understanding of a situation.
I’m unhappy to see people spitefully urging others to cut off ties with their friends under the guise of “well, that person’s just inherently bad, so if you talk to them you’re bad too.” That is fucked up. You definitely have the right to let the friend know you don’t want to hear about whoever troubles you, but you do not at all have the right to decide who their friends should be. This includes guilt trips.
Anyway, just try to be more aware of others. Everyone else is a person like you. They might not have the same experiences as you. They might not understand how their words are harmful, or how what they’re doing is wrong. They certainly won’t if you never tell them.
Most people are trying to be good, but they’re going to mess it up sometimes. Try to keep that in mind. Even when people do really fucked up shit, sometimes they are trying to do good. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” and all that.
Nothing gets solved, no growth happens when you put people into a box from which you’ll never let them escape.
Yes, you absolutely must be careful about people who have tendencies and patterns that are harmfulto you. Sometimes people try to overcome those patterns and they fail, and you have to distance yourself from them: that is the sad reality of life. Sometimes though, they can overcome it. But they certainly won’t if the first thing you do is write them off after a fuck up.
Be sincere. Use your best judgment.
So I have been a pup for quite a while as people have noticed, but there is lots I just never knew about it before. In the last month I did have my first experience with getting into sub-space. It was surreal and amazing, way beyond anything else I ever got to experience before. This experience has changed me in many ways, most of which I am still exploring.
Now I guess I understand what being a pup really means, and I really want to explore this side. It holds so much more than just submitting to someone, it holds a lot more pleasure on the emotional level as well.
But because of this I am now going through some identity stuff that has been tough to deal with. I have a couple of great online people who are helping me with stuff, but I have quickly realized how it will only get me so far with this. I have no local setup/support for this, and it wouldn’t be something I could just jump in to anyway. For me, to be a pup requires a lot of emotional commitment too, and that takes a lot of time and work to create.
Feeling in a bit of a low point as I work through some of this with my life feeling out of sync with everyone else. I am working to hope to fix this with a visit to see Sir next month, but there is still so much I feel I have to deal with at this point. I am learning about the culture more too as this goes along, and what all the expectations are. It is fun, but daunting…just sometimes feel lonely.
Also: WOOT first text post! LOL
Congrats on hitting sub space, pup!
Ahhh…poutine. I missed you.
Thai yellow seafood curry. It’s kinda like ciopinno, but with curry powder.
Improve The Breed - Communication For Doms
Here are some ‘pearls of wisdom’ for new Doms on how to establish a healthy Dom/sub connection. Some of these pointers pertain to more intense play, but are good suggestions regardless of the type of play.
1. Communicate. Probably the most important skill to learn as a Dom, is how to effectively communicate. As the leader it’s your job to keep communication an open, two-way street. Subs often shut down or disconnect. It’s not because they are being defiant. Sometimes it’s part of their subspace experience, and sometimes they’re overwhelmed by what’s happening. They may perceive what you are doing as abuse, or relate it to a moment of abuse in their past. It can happen at any time, even when doing something you’ve already done before with no problems. Here are some tips to developing good habits to facilitate communication between you and your sub.
2. Be yourself. Even though Dom/sub relations are technically ‘role play’ most people want to play with real people. Especially in the beginning, subs want to know an authentic, personal side of you, and know that you are someone they can rely on, and they can trust.
When a sub offers himself to you it is a big deal, and he’s offering himself to YOU, not some fictional character. He wants YOU to lead him through any challenges and adversity. He needs your help. If you’re trying too hard or doing something that’s way out of character, then rethink your strategy. Your sub will see how uncomfortable it is for you and his confidence may waver. So start slow and easy. That being said, if you’re trying something new and it’s backfiring or turning into a clusterfuck, just stop, say that it’s not working out, and laugh it off. Bonding comes from sharing both successes and failures. Handling failures well is just as important as enjoying success.
3. Establish endpoints, and checking in: Unless it is your lifestyle, it’s a good habit to establish things I call ‘endpoints’ and ‘checking in.’
Endpoints: An endpoint is simply defining the beginning and ending of a BDSM scene. Create a time, before and after a scene, for physical contact and communication. Be positive, affirming, calm, relaxed. Smile, use touch, eye contact, and say something like, “we’re gong to have a really good time today all right?” or “You did a great job today, thank you.” Simple common courtesy. And listen to what your sub has to say. Treat it like a ritual. Subs respond very well to this kind of consistency. It only takes a minute and it does a world of good towards building trust and camaraderie.
Checking in: Checking in can happen within a scene or can be used as a transition between scenes. It’s basically a short rest period - less than 30 seconds - where you ease up on stimulation, when a sub can regroup, verbalize his condition, think things out, relax a little, get ready for more. Think of it like a little chunk of aftercare inside of a scene. It’s a good time to re-establish a connection, check in with the sub and see how he’s doing. Speak with a comforting tone, be encouraging. Ask him “how are you doing?” Over a very short time he’ll become conditioned so that when he’s in this ‘safe zone’ he knows he’s physically safe from harm, and will come to relish those times and bond with you over them. It also serves as a reality check, allowing the sub to momentarily assert control if he wishes. When you’re ready to start up again, just say, ‘you ready?’ and listen to his response.
4. Handling meltdowns and catharsis. It will happen eventually. Especially if you’re involved with punishments or endorphin rushes, S&M and longer, more intense scenes. A strong emotional release….crying, or anger or fear. Grief, heartache, anguish, passion, joy, gratitude. A hundred emotions and powerful feelings all culminating together and overflowing. It’s like an unstoppable force that grabs hold of your body and doesn’t let go. At that moment, it can go either way: It can be a powerfully positive cathartic experience - something life-changing that your sub will be eternally grateful for. Or it can be devastating to him - something that will leave him scarred, erase all the trust you’ve built, and fill you both with regret.
The most important thing you can do as a Dom at that moment, is BE THERE. Stop extraneous stimulation. Make it quiet. Be physically close, but not obtrusive. If you do make physical contact, make it firm contact, like an anchor he can hold onto. Don’t be overly consoling…you don’t know what he’s thinking right now. Just be there, and say the words, “I’m here with you. I’m right here.” Say it just a few times, not over and over. Try not to say things like, “you’re ok,’ because he’s not. Instead, say “you’ll BE ok.” “I’ve got you.” I’m with you.” Realize that this is HIS experience, not yours. He needs to handle this himself. But he needs you there to witness it, and honor it, and honor him. By being present with him. That is all.
When the time is right, when things settle a bit, tell him “I’m going to untie you now and then we’re going to go rest for a while.” Expect another emotional release to return at some point, and again, use firm steady touch, like an anchor. Go lay down for a while with him. Cover him with a blanket. Warm him with your body. Hold him close and let him have his experience. When he is still, give him some time by himself to rest. He might fall asleep for a while. That is normal. When he wakes again, he might be really happy and energized, or kinda dazed and confused, or exhausted and hungry. Your boy just worked very hard for you. Be a good mentor and tend to HIS needs.
submitted by: - JocKDieseL
Excellent advice.
Super Foods Bulking Smoothie!
(~1500 calories)Use gainer protein instead of whey protein for extra calories
Big pup making my morning shake :D
Date night with tank. Ramen :D
So I lost my wedding ring last week. Was convinced I left it at the gym and couldn’t find it. I didn’t want to worry big pup, so I discretely went on ebay, found my ring, and bought it. (Never buy your ring directly…geeze, ebay was selling it for a third the price).
I’ve been wearing the ebay ring for a week…when tank finds my ring in the laundry.
Sigh.
Well. Now I’ve got a backup. I guess.
Running nude from dangerous surf on Oahu’s unofficial North Shore nude beach.
I completely understand.
Maybe its because I was raised by nudists, or because I have an exhibitionist streak, but I love being naked.
Obscenity laws in America are difficult to interpret and vary wildly, so its best to stick to nudist-friendly places:
Sometimes my adventures take me to very remote places where the chance of running into another person is very, very low. So I get naked.
Its been a real mind-fuck learning the cultural identity I’ve carried my entire life is wrong. I was raised Filipino, but this genetic test says I’m actually Polynesian. What do I do now?
I’ve been a little confused about my cultural identity thanks to the vagueness of 23andme’s “Polynesian” classification. Polynesia is comprised of 15 different countries, each with very distinct cultures and traditions. I might be Samoan, I might be Tongan…its impossible to know because the genetic tests available aren’t that granular.
I’m probably Maori and me constantly sticking my tongue out is actually a genetic birthright passed down by my warrior ancestors.
Without actually knowing the specific island my ancestors are from, I’ve been adrift in a sea of cultural soul searching. Picking out the things that resonate with me, trying to form my own understanding of Polynesian culture and how I fit into it all.
One thing is consistent across all Polynesian cultures: without a tattoo, I’m naked. The pe'a (or tatau, or tattoo) is a painful rite of passage for all Polynesian people; a physical symbol of dedication and bravery. Nevertheless, each Polynesian group has their own unique tattoo style, which serves as a way to show your heritage or status.
I don’t know where I belong, so I can’t get a proper tattoo…so I’ll forever be “naked.”
I’m thinking I need to form my own visual language to show where I came from. Hmmm.
I think you’re referring to the United States Census reclassification of Filipino people from Asian to Pacific Islander? Well, that was a hoax which the Census Bureau responded to here.
In the same way that congress reclassified pizza as a vegetable, you can’t just pass a law and magically change the underlying genetic makeup of an entire ethnic group.
Thats not how this works.
The majority of Filipinos are descended from Austronesians, a distinct genetic group that includes other ethnicities from Southeast Asia, originating between 3,000 and 1,000BC. On 23andMe’s genetic test, this shows up as “East Asian.”
The majority of Polynesians have genetic markers that are much older than Austronesians. We’re talking pre-Holocene era, 12,000BC. On 23andMe’s genetic test, this shows up as “Polynesian.”
Polynesian people moved quickly amongst the islands, so there is not enough genetic variance to determine which island my ancestors are from…but, we know for certain I have no Asian in me.
Source: Wikipedia
GIF is unrelated to my response. I just feel like we need something funny to set the tone because race is such a trigging topic to people who read my blog.
I don’t do race play. It doesn’t turn me on, I don’t have a preference of one race to another, I do not have a sense of pride about sexually dominating someone who is not subjugated to racial prejudice.
One of my kinks is dominating people that are stronger, smarter, and significantly bigger than me. The juxtaposition of power between my pups and I is extremely hot.
Race is not something I consider in the power dynamic…although I know some folks who do that, it doesn’t do anything for me.
The test used was from 23andme.
The ancestry results have completely shattered my understanding of cultural identity and left me lost and confused.
Highly recommended.
When I was dating, I didn’t look for submissive guys. I did my own thing and it attracted like-minded people who shared my interests and wanted to befriend me. Sometimes this platonic love would grow into romantic feelings. As the relationship progressed, we’d explore power exchange if it was appropriate.
I don’t think its a good idea to form a relationship on just power exchange. That seems shallow and destined for disappointment. You should be best friends, share lots of hobbies, inspire each other, AND have wild kinky BDSM sex. In that order.
…
Nevertheless, I am propositioned daily by strangers online who want to submit to me. It is very unbecoming and makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps because I’m a demisexual and can’t get into it without first having a romantic connection.
Cheat meal!!!
Seattle, you’re getting DP’d all weekend!
In other news: I got a job in Seattle and am leaving San Francisco a year earlier than planned. Spending the weekend looking at apartments, signed a lease on a four bedroom penthouse downtown for the pups and I. Yay, changes!
San Francisco is the most expensive city in America. It’s so expensive, that the cost of living was negatively affecting everyone’s quality of life.
Moving one person is hard. But moving five?
I presented my pups with a “three year plan” to abandon SF back in April, 2014. That would give us plenty of time to wrap up our work and school obligations while we researched potential destinations for New San Francisco.
Our top picks were: Portland, Seattle, Austin, and Chicago.
We ended up picking Seattle over Portland because the job market is three times bigger and we have more friends in the emerald city. (However, we all agreed that if “Seattle sucks,” we’d move to Portland anyway).
Big pup started to get antsy around year two of our plan. He’s the most mobile of us and wanted to move a year early by driving up this Fall. I liked the idea. It would give us momentum to actually leave San Francisco.
Then, out of nowhere, a company I had previously turned-down sent me a new offer. They desperately needed someone to build a team for them in either Seattle or Tokyo.
It was an incredible opportunity.
I’ve spent the last month flying to Texas and Washington negotiating. Yesterday, I finally signed.
Now I was moving to Seattle first.
Pup bef decided this was actually a good time to leave Hawaii…so he’s going to drive up with me next month. Then tank and big pup move up in August, followed by Alpha in November.
I’m excited for the move.
