So I have been a pup for quite a while as people have noticed, but there is lots I just never knew about it before. In the last month I did have my first experience with getting into sub-space. It was surreal and amazing, way beyond anything else I ever got to experience before. This experience has changed me in many ways, most of which I am still exploring.
Now I guess I understand what being a pup really means, and I really want to explore this side. It holds so much more than just submitting to someone, it holds a lot more pleasure on the emotional level as well.
But because of this I am now going through some identity stuff that has been tough to deal with. I have a couple of great online people who are helping me with stuff, but I have quickly realized how it will only get me so far with this. I have no local setup/support for this, and it wouldn’t be something I could just jump in to anyway. For me, to be a pup requires a lot of emotional commitment too, and that takes a lot of time and work to create.
Feeling in a bit of a low point as I work through some of this with my life feeling out of sync with everyone else. I am working to hope to fix this with a visit to see Sir next month, but there is still so much I feel I have to deal with at this point. I am learning about the culture more too as this goes along, and what all the expectations are. It is fun, but daunting…just sometimes feel lonely.
Also: WOOT first text post! LOL
Congrats on hitting sub space, pup!