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Psychology Today, Are we really the average of our peers?
I used to be friends with this guy. He was an adorable Iowa farm boy that had moved to the big city of San Francisco and was discovering himself.
As I got to know him, the way he interacted with people and handled conflict started to make me uncomfortable.
- Walking slow? He’d speed up then vindictively walk slowly to obstruct the person before him instead of saying “Excuse me.”
- Disagree with him? He’d key your car, mess up your order, talk behind your back.
- Long day at work? He’d drink himself numb, pass out with the TV on.
It didn’t bother me so much. Everyone is at a different point in their journey, personal growth takes time, etc, etc… And then, one day, I got frustrated with someone walking slowly in front of me, out-paced them, then stopped, blocking their path. While incredibly satisfying, it was an incredibly rude behaviour I had inadvertently picked up from this friend.
I did not want to become that person. As I confronted these behaviours, worse things came up. I had to remove myself from that relationship…and I’m grateful I did.
TL;DR
We’re in control of who we want to become. Surround yourself with people you admire and good things happen.